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Friday, July 30, 2010 9:36 PM
Information
♥To whom it may concern, - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  Therefore, if you text me thru' msn or my phone and the text doesn't contain any smileys or any 'haha' or 'hehe' in it, I took it as you are being cold towards me. Thank you.
P.S. Please don't be mean to me. It's unfair and I dislike it. :(
9:22 PM
Old good times
♥ Dear bestfriends, I miss hanging out with the three of you. :( Now we all have new friends or should I say new bestfriends and we tend to neglect the rest of the Piunks. We keep secrets from each other but we share it with strangers. That was not how we used to be. Sigh. I really miss the old good times.
Thursday, July 29, 2010 10:39 PM
Mystery woman
♥ Finally my life starting to have this unsolved mystery case which started today. Whee!Okay, here's what happened today.
A friend of mine whose name is Syazwan texted me telling that there was this one adult woman called him and asked for me. He told the woman that he is just my friend and the number she diallied was not my number. With that, the woman ended the phone call.
I wonder who that woman is... I have many names in my head now and none of it fits in or connect to identify the identity of that mystery woman.
My theory will be that the woman was maybe someone who Syazwan and I interviewed in May or June for the poverty research thingy. That can't be someone we interviewed because I only gave my OWN handphone number to those we interviewed. To top that up, I told them my name was MAJDINA and the woman who called Syazwan this afternoon was seeking for DEENA.
For someone who calls me Deena then that means she must have known me long enough to call me by that name or maybe she is someone from my acquaintances. Hmmm.... Who the heck is she??? I need to know who she is before I started hiring up some private detectives to search for her. Haha. Over.
Anyway, this is fun... I think. Something that makes me think and also try to recall what I did that make someone like this to call a friend of mine to look for me. Pretty interesting case ni and it would be more interesting if I can solve the mystery.
Hey mystery woman. Give me a call, yeah? HAHA. Berigali.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010 9:09 PM
Sorry for a reason
♥I want to apologize for what I have said or done to all of you, my friends. This may not be the right time for me to say sorry since it's not Raya yet but anyway who knows tomorrow might be my last day living in this world. Sorry macam emo but I have realized how bad as a person I am and I should not be treating the people I love and all humans who live in this world like that. I'm so sorry for being rude, for using inappropriate language or behavior when talking to you and for saying things that I should not say it to you.
Sometimes I just say things without even thinking that it would hurt someone and it may cause myself for losing a friend. No wonder some of my friends don't like it when I'm around and tend to be mean to me. Sheessh. I should be given an award for being the worst person on Earth. Boohoo!
It feels like someone has slapped me on the face and made me realize how bad I used to be and am right now. :S If I continue to be this way then I'll start getting people to hate me. I don't want that to happen. I hope it's never too late to change into someone better and insyaAllah I'll try my best not to be someone horrible.
So dear friends of mine and my love ones, I am really SORRY for treating you guys so bad. =/ 
Tuesday, July 27, 2010 2:44 PM
Remember.
♥ Does he? Because I still do. =)
Monday, July 26, 2010 11:18 PM
bla bla bla
♥I figured out something unexpectedly from my friend about something and somehow it's the last thing I want to hear from her. The truth is it affected me and I'm in the process of learning how to be someone who doesn't care even about a single thing so I can live my life without worrying. Worrying is the 2nd craziest thing I want to avoid because I have been living my life worrying about everything and it sometimes hurts.
So now, I'm hoping I can go with the flow and anything happen tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or in the future I want to deal 'it' no matter how hard it would be to face such thing. It's funny that I'm still holding on to this thing. Maybe I'm not brave enough to be the first one to cut it off? Nahh, the thing is I want 'it' so bad that going through all of this with pains and bruises is worth it. The feeling that built up over the year caused me this, so I guess I should still fight for it but fight in way that need not me to be hurt in some kind of way. Haha. This is making me insane. I don't even know what I was trying to tell here. Let's just take this as my crappy post.Next time there might be another crappy post from me so just try to bear reading crappy stuff. =D
Friday, July 23, 2010 10:09 PM
Meet the not-hot chic
♥ This is the most horrible post ever!!!
I think I'm FAT and BLACK. And I hate it! :( I really need to shed some weight. eh no. shed a lot of weight not some. =/ I have stopped exercising for a long time already due to having no access to transportation. If I could just start doing back my routines then maybe I won't be this paranoid.... Looking through all the pictures my friend took yesterday when we celebrated my cousin's birthday helped me realized how horrifying my looks yesterday. If I tend to continue having that kind of image, people would start to call me the black fatso and maybe they would use back the old nicknames; si 'lampuh', si 'bulat', si 'pooh' and some humiliating nicknames. :( That is scary and there's no way I wanna be called like that again.
If only Brunei has that so-called 'The Biggest Loser' show then I would definitely be the first one to sign up for it. Haha. Anyway.... Starting tomorrow, fizzy drinks will be banned from my life. Never gonna touch em' again. :)) Goodbye to Dad's, Pepsi, Coke, Sprite, 7up and the restssss. :D 
12:50 PM
Crap
♥Know what?
I have just scanned through my timetable for the upcoming semester. How very shocking it was to see that particular person is listed in my timetable. What I meant by that is... I was trying to avoid this particular person from seeing or clashing or whatever thing with this particular person for a few months and now there is a high probability that I would have to meet this particular person for the rest of my 3rd semester. How can this be happening???
This is so not fair eh. I know it's a big deal and I should not be overreacting right now but.... But... It's just unfair bah. Having this particular person around me reminds me of the embarrassment and the stupid mistakes I made. It's a big deal for me, you know...
Not fair eh banar... =/ Maybe I should sabotage this person so this person wouldn't be around OR maybe I just find another alternative course OR I could try to face the truth and get over the bad memories OR I could jump from a high building to commit suicide. Haha. Over. Naahhh I'll go with the third option, I think. I would be okay. Everything will gonna be fine. Right?
Aku emosi saja and that's all. =]
Thursday, July 22, 2010 9:27 PM
Lovely day
♥ I'm happy.Thanks to him, my boyfriend. Though we spent time together just for a short time, it was great. I have been missing him for not seeing him for so long. So yeah, seeing him this even for a short while mean something for me. I'm glad that I got the chance to meet him. =))
Wednesday, July 21, 2010 8:36 PM
something for you
♥ Dear boyfriend,
the picture above applies for what I'm feeling for you right now and I really mean it! I love you damn much, Azime. =)
Sunday, July 18, 2010 8:48 PM
Apologize
♥
Hey people. I know these few days I was a bit weird posting some emo-rage-stupid-crack posts which should not be published to the public because I am or I was revealing my emo-rage-stupid-crack life which should not be revealed to the public. Haha. Apakan.
What I am trying to say here is... I'm sorry for being that way and will try to post some happy happy post so you guys won't feel gloomy when you view my blog. Sudahtah layout blog ku hitam ah, aku punya post pun berijap makin buat kamu takut. Haha. So yeah, starting besuk let's welcome the Happy Deena (Can't promise you that :P).
 Say hello to happy me. :)
5:34 PM
Rage.
♥Dear someone I really care, how I wish you realized what you have done to us. you set a bad example to the kids and are behaving like someone crazy. you don't have to drop the bomb to your family if you are mad about something unrelated to them. When you turned them as the victim, you are like someone who can't be controlled or maybe possessed by a very bad demon. Your family is suffering from this and this is all your fault. If you continue to be like this, I'm ready to leave you next year without any regrets. Sometimes I wish I have a good ... who will treat ... family better and not this way. :(
I know I shouldn't post this up but aku banar2 inda tahan lagi kan simpan ani sorang2. I'm just a normal human being....
Saturday, July 17, 2010 8:38 PM
♥ Dear Sally, I hate you... For not talking to me =/ && for not thinking logically about the consequences. I hate you... For everytime I feel hopeless, you will always be the one I want to talk to about it. I hate you... For being so sweet to all human beings in the universe. I hate you... For making me hate myself when I started to be mad at you. I hate you... For everytime I'm mad at you, I can always forgive you easily. I hate you... For I don't hate you for real. That's just a way for me saying I'm mad at you right now. I hate you...
4:24 PM
I wanted a change
♥    
    This post is about me wanting a change on my hairstyle. A year with no hair-cut really bores me because having a long hair is not my thing. Tapinya... I like long hairs! Apakan. It just when I have em' it gets messy and since I'm not good in doing the up-dos, having a long hair is boring to me as it looks pretty plain. =/
I have always like short hair due to some advantages. Save shampoo=save $$$. HAHA. and my head feels lighter if my hair is short. But... There are some buts too. Sometimes when my hair is short, I envy people with long hair pasalnya they look pretty and I wanna be pretty too.. =[ haha.
I did google up some styles and some caught my eyes (which you can see some pics I posted above). I wonder which one suits me. I don't want to cut my hair short since sayang jua kan... But aku macam mahu jua rambutku pendek. Heesshh. If I keep my hair maybe I would go for the wavy2 or curly thingy (which costs a lot and extra care & money is needed once I go for em') or if I cut them short, I don't have to worry about anything. I'm not changing the colour of hair nor my bangs. So people, please please please... Can anyone help me figure out which style yang bisai? =/ Last2 I'll just shave my hair & go bald krg bnr... Haha.
12:02 AM
Endlessly,
♥ Believe me, in everyday life there will always be someone who will always let you down, someone who will make you upset, someone who will lie to you, someone who will betray you, someone who will stab your heart in silence and someone who will make you feel hurt.
You gotta trust no one, not even your family, your lover, your bestfriends, friends, colleagues, teachers and people who tend to enter your inner circles because these people are the ones who I mentioned above.
It happens all the time and it's happening to me. :)
P.S. I'm not emo!
Friday, July 16, 2010 9:58 AM
Where happiness were there
♥I hope it's not too late to post about this. I have been longing to post the pictures up but what to do, the laziness of me stopped me from doing so. Hehe.
We were sent to Temburong to do research and I didn't expect despite the food didn't reach our satisfactory level, the exhaustion and I miss home and my mother (tsk!), I was happy there because them friends were around me and it was great spending time with them. :))  You should see how excited I was. That's me the one who ran like crazy. Haha.
 That's me being so high and still excited. Why it has to be me with the ugly expression? =___="
Thursday, July 15, 2010 9:46 PM
You guys put pressure on me.
♥I feel pathetic. In fact, I am one. A PATHETIC. How's that? =/
For one small matter it makes me feel that way. Not really... But... Sigh...
Everyone keeps bragging on and on about kain raya, how they have sent their kain to make 'baju raya', how beautiful they are going to be during Raya with those new 'baju raya'...
The truth is.. I think, I'm the only one who hasn't bought kain raya yet. =/ I have my eyes on some arah Nazmi and YMRM tapinya.... I don't think it's necessary for me to elaborate more.
All in all, I feel terribly pathetic. Thank you.
3:50 PM
I'm all alone
♥Is there anyone out there who is willing to hear all my complaints & my problemsssss?????? =/ I'm really stressed out. I wish there's a way out right now... My head is really... I don't know. I think it's going to burst if there's another problem coming in. =___=" Sigh... I'm tired with all of this.. Ngalih ku ngalih!!! Hahaha. Kes sasak banar tah ku sudah tu ah. :(
Tuesday, July 13, 2010 10:23 AM
Time goes fast.
♥ Oh gosh!
One more month it will be Ramadhan and the following month will be the Raya time. sigh. I'm soo not ready and I'm not looking forward for it. How I wish those days won't come because when it's August, it reminds me of my birthday and it's during the fasting month. How sad it is to celebrate a birthday during the fasting month. Tsk! I'm not saying fasting month spoils my birthday but... I want to enjoy, cherish and... engraved another good memory to be remember before 2011.
After the birthday, come the month of September. Hari Raya falls during September and to think of that.. I think this September will be the last Raya I'm gonna have with the family, them friends and him. :( To top up that, it's his birthday and it might be my last time celebrating his birthday with him. :(
I wish time would go slow so I can make things right... So I can spend more time with the people I love... So I don't have to worry about what will happen in the future... So this heartache will never exist...
Monday, July 12, 2010 9:42 AM
Doctor's order
♥ Happy pills. How I wish they sell this in Brunei because I really need em' right now. :)
Saturday, July 10, 2010 8:53 PM
a new hope
♥I have decided... After all this long, I have waited for someone to replace you and I pray all day and night hoping for a miracle and now it's here.
Between both of you, I have made my choice... I'm taking, - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   I'm taking Nokia N8 to replace you, my LG KM900! Boohoo! When this phone is ready to be sell in Brunei, then I'm gonna grab my atm card and withdraw all my money out and buy Nokia N8. :D I have fallen in love with it and I want the black one. :)) So people, don't ever think of buying this phone. Aku book sudah ni. Don't let me down. :( Haha. over aku ah. Go buy N900, I'm so over it. Say hello to Nokia N8! :D
Friday, July 9, 2010 10:17 PM
Hear me out.
♥
Have you ever feel empty and lonely because there's no one for you to talk with? Well, I do. And I'm feeling it now since few days ago when things were a bit screwed up by some people and me.
I think one of my bestfriends is ignoring me. I think something is drifting us apart or maybe this bestfriend of mine don't want to be bestfriend with me anymore or maybe... I hurt this person badly and that's why this person decided to ignore me.
This bestfriend of mine is acting cold and there was this one time, I asked this person about something this person didn't answer it and turned around and talk to the other person who's next to this person.
Let's call this person as Sally since refering this person as 'this bestfriend of mine' or 'this person' is really hard and confusing for me. Haha. And definitely will make you all confuse too. :D
anyway... Yeap, Sally is being cold to me and I can feel it because Sally was not like that before. Sally used to be nice, sweet and comfy to be with. I usually talk about things with Sally and when I spent time with her, I feel okay everytime I have problems and it was fun to be around Sally as Sally is an amazing person. :)
I miss my bestfriend so much. :( I've been having problems and I want to talk about it with Sally but I just can't because everytime I wanted to confront Sally... Sally will be busy talking with other people and Sally always gave me this weird cold look that made me stay away. sigh.
How I wish things are like they were before. I really miss you. :( & by the way, Sally is not a girl and neither a boy. Don't try assuming who Sally is.
P.S. Ignore me if it makes you happy. :)
Monday, July 5, 2010 10:29 AM
a few more details
♥Dear diary,probably I'm the weirdest person in the world right now. Last night was really stupid of me for not showing up for my friend's surprise party due to my stubbornness. So shame on me for being so selfish. =/ Sorry Fifah. & to Zati Bayani, I'm sorry too. Because of feeling so mad and down, the people I love got affected. I'm so sorry. InsyaAllah I won't act like that anymore. Tsk!
Anyhow, today is the 5th of July. Guess what's the plan for today?
... ... ...
Vacation to KK with them friends and my boyfriend is today! Woohoo!
I wasn't this excited yesterday. But today as I checked our penthouse's website, I can feel the excitements started to grow in me. I feel like jumping here and there right now. Haha. As I read the descriptions about our penthouse, I feel like I wanna be there right now. I can't wait any longer. =D Laju laju laju! haha.
I have packed all my stuff in my luggage bag and.. I haven't change my money to RM yet. =/ I'm gonna change it later before going to the airport. :D so I guess that's all for now. :)) Goodbye! <3<3<3
Sunday, July 4, 2010 2:53 PM
Hey there, Afifah.
♥ Happy 20th, my dear bestfriend! Age is just a number. Isn't that what we try to tell our family and friends on their birthdays? =D turning 20 can be really scary. (kan kan kan?) We used to have this conversation about turning 20 with... is it with Yanee or Ayen? I don't exactly remember who because it was a long long time ago. but anyway, it doesn't matter if you turn 20 or you are still 19, 18 or less because Fifah will always be Fifah & we; Izzati, Yanee & me will always love you. =D
So...
Happy birthday, Afifah Basyirah Binti Ibrahim. You are not getting old. :D && sorry for not being there with the rest to celebrate your day with you. :(
2:38 PM
Ieen's engagement day
♥ Dear Ayen & Eyai, congratulations you two! =)
 May Allah always bless you two and semoga berkekalan nanti sampai kahwin. Laju2tah kahwin. We, the rest of the chicas can't wait to be the flower girls on your wedding day. =D P.S. who's next? Izzati? =)
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Yours truly,
♥ also known as Deena.
♥ Bruneian.
♥ Trying to be a better person but fails everyday.
♥ Owns a fucked up life.
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